Good evening. Sorry I've been away, but had to take care of Roy. Everything is OK now so back to my musings. Ya'll come on in and sit a spell, while I ramble on.
We spent some time in the hospital this morning - all's OK, but I saw several new babies going home with their parents. It is so touching to see the tender, loving looks between the family members but I hope they know it will never be the same again. I read where someone said, to never count yourself as a parent until they reach 30 and if they haven't realized you are smart and have a little wisdom, you can begin to realize maybe you were a failure. It was Barbara Johnson and she has a funny book called, Where Do You Go to Resign from Motherhood?.
Of course, that is impossible, so you just resign yourself to the fact that you will their mama forever and ever. It is amzing how you can tell by the tone of the voice on the phone if something is wrong. You cheerfully say. "Hello" and if they "mama", most of the time everything is OK. However, if they say maaaamaaaa, in that mournful, long, drawn out tone, get the checkbook. Money is short, they've wrecked their car, or the rent is due. Now we just ask how much do they need to stay where they are, for I'm not sure we could all live together again!
Now don't get me wrong, for I love my children and grandchildren more than they will ever know, but I think it is time for separate households. I have already given them permission to put me in an "old folk's home" if I have not placed myself in one. Remember, I want a really nice one with heated pool, exercise room, good-looking, young trainer, and 4 star dining room. So, I think Roy and I will pick it out and move in, in case they don't pick a nice one. They might get to thinking about us spending their inheritence.
As I looked at the babies today, I remembered how I learned about babies. Did your mama and her friends speak in a code when SEX became the topic of conversation and speak in a whisper? Ours did and it took me a while to figure out what in the heck they were talking about. If someone became pregnant it was whispered that she was PG and that was not Parental Guidance. They had alread bypassed the PG and gone to SEX rating.
Of course the most used term was. "She is expecting." Once a close friend of the family was gaining weight, more than her usual "fluffiness" and when I questioned the additional "fluffiness" mama smiled that goofy we get when talking about a baby and told me our friend was "expecting." I got a great big smile across my face and said gleefully, "Puppies?" That seemed like a great idea to me for we all thought their mama dog was wonderful and puppies would be stupendous.
Mama got this strange look and turned a bright color of red and told me not puppies but a baby. This wasn't nearly as exciting as puppies and I was a tad disapointed. I'm sure the subject was quickly changed and we found another topic of conversation, for mama was not ready for THE TALK.
Another code name they used was "in the family way." Now this was a puzzler for me for if they were in the famililies' way, why not get out of their way. Then to top the fact they were in the way of the family, along came another child to add to the family and that would really be a bigger problem. There would be more family to get in the way. That is as confusing as, "Who's on first?"
Of course we finally had THE TALK and mama picked a strange time to have it. At the time I was told that soon I would be a woman with lots of wonderful, strange things happening to my body, I had the measles. Because I was the oldest child, I contracted all the childhood diseases, brought them home, infected my 2 brothers and it was weeks of sick children for mama to cope with. But back to our conversation, she sat down on the bed, told me about the coming events of my life, how I should look forward to them, pulled out this Kotex pamphlet and other items of torture and told me to look forward to this big event.
Now if you are a woman or soon to be a woman, it is not a big event, it is the beginning of 3 weeks of each month which are a shot. You have pre, during and post problems and you have them until hot flashes set in and then you pre, during and post completion of this big deal. If you think this is something to look forward to, get a grip for it is the pits.
I understand this meant that I could be PG, expecting, or in the family way, but face it, being sick for several months, big as a house, swollen feet, and then the LABOR involved in this miraculous process of birthing this child is not a tea party. It is LABOR, it is work, it is pain, it is wonderful! At least the end product is but the process can get a tad laborious.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad I have my 2 wonderful children, but I also went to a little Korean doctor and said I need a snip please. When he reminded me that meant I couldn't have anymore children, I said, if you don't snip, I'll find somebody who will for 2 is enough. Get on with it.
The Georgia Peach