Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Tuesday's Thoughts



Weddings



Good morning, how are ya'll? As daddy would have said, "Fine as frog hair split three ways." Every now and then he would come out with some old South Mississippi saying which would crack us up. Once he asked for "Adam's Ale" at a cafe and the waitress got this puzzled look on her face and we were cracking up. She informed him they didn't serve alcohol at that cafe with a look of horror on her face. Daddy just grinned and said he wanted water. Now I don't think that poor girl ever knew who Adam was and that the ale meant water, bless her heart. He was a pistol ball sometimes and some of those old Mississippi sayings are a hoot.

Well, we have just passed the big month for weddings it seems. Not sure why the month of June is such popular month for this event, so I guess I will have to do some research. If I find out, I will let you all in on the secret.

It amazes me how much money and time is spent on "marrying up" as some country folks would say. I am amazed at these organized couples who get the wedding planner, the florist, "the baker the butcher and candlestick maker", the gown designer and a whole host of other people to plan this wedding. Then you see the poor bride carrying around a notebook full of tabs with reams of paper behind each tab full of notes and pictures. She almost needs a rolling briefcase to tote all this stuff. She hustles and bustles and makes everyone uneasy in fear she is going to collapse. A friend of mine lost about a pound a week. Mama had made her wedding gown and she had to take it up several times so it would fit. Poor girl has never been that thin since her wedding day.

Meanwhile, daddy is just sitting at home writing checks or handing out the credit cards. "Just do it" and don't ask me to make any decisions. My brother only made one request of his sweet daughter and it was to be allowed to wear our family's Scottish plaid he had made into a vest. He told her he would wear the tux if he could wear "the plaid." She agreed I think to keep him from also wearing the kilt which I said he could wear only if he lost about 100 pounds. None of us need to have our knees showing at this time for it is not a pretty sight for age is creeping up on us and my knees never were pretty and they haven't improved in looks with age.

Mama is bustling right behind the bride and is about exhausted trying to keep up. That's alright however, for all mothers relive their weddings or the one they wanted through their daughters. It's just that being a little older makes it easier for them to collapse with exhaustion but they manage somehow to make it through the reception and then collapse. We women are strong, and don't you men forget it and when we are in a wedding mode, watch out for the adreniline rush.

The poor groom is watching from the sidelines in total bewilderment. I had one young friend who was completely bewildered and upset with himself. When I questioned him about his emotional state he explained: "Mrs. Frances, I don't know what to do. I can't seem to say anything right to ________ (to protect the innocent). When she asks my opinion on something for the wedding, I told her I didn't care just do whatever she wanted. You see, I just want to get married and this wedding thing is killing me."

Well bless his heart, I had to 'splain things to him for he was making a big mistake. You do care about the wedding, I told him, to which he said not really. I just want to show up, say what I'm told to say, kiss her, party and go on the honeymoon. Now I knew he really just wanted to go on the honeymoon, but to keep from embarrassing him I hid my grin and gave him a motherly smile.

You have to pretend to care I told him for this is the event she has been waiting for all her life. Now here is what you do. When she asks your opinion on anything, no matter how small, you look as if you are giving it serious consideration, nod your head, look lovingly in her eyes and say, "Sweetheart, I'm not sure if my idea is the best and because you have such perfect taste, why don't we just go with your decision. I know your idea would be better than mine and I want you to be happy."

He gave me look of amazement and asked if that is all he needed to do. I assured him she really wanted to include him in the decision making process but probably would not want to hear what he had to say for knowing this boy they would have shown up in blue jeans, running shoes and t-shirts and have a hamburger cook-out for the reception.

After a couple of weeks, he told me all was going well and my idea worked. Now was I surprised? Not at all, for by the time you get to my age you have observed enough life to have gained a little bit of wisdom and how women think hasn't changed much since Eve. Remember she told Adam to eat that apple and he did. That's just the way it works.

Now don't get me wrong. I love nice weddings. In fact 2 of my nieces and one nephew have given me 3 great memories of weddings. We had a stupendous time and I know months of planning went into them and they were beautiful, fun and I had a blast. They enjoyed the planning and the event, the three spouses and their families loved it and I thank you.

However, our wedding was inexpensive, not a lot of planning, close friends and family, a preacher's first wedding and 2 kids who loved each other saying, " I do." It was filled with love and has lasted for 46 years and I love him more each day. He is my husband, my best friend, my spiritual leader, my sweetheart and my love. What more could I ask for?

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

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