Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday's Musings on Old Age



Good morning. Hope this finds all of you doing well or tolable as a dear friend used to say. I think that means so-so and I hope ya'll are doing better than just tolable. Today is my dear friend and husband's birthday. Just know we are both senior citizens at this point and we will go from there. We are not old as dirt yet, but getting there and it is not all bad.


We are finding that age sometimes has some perks such as senior citizen discounts, you get respect from most people (those who were raised up by good Southern mamas), and some people treat you extra special for you are old and need help. Now we are in great health, but I never say "no" to help for I may need it someday. Who am I to deny them the blessing of doing a good deed for an old person.

Age is also a great excuse when you screw up. Most people think that old people can't think straight, are half deaf, infirm and almost dead. Well let me tell you. These 2 old folks still have most of our faculties, are not infirm, hear pretty well and are a long way from being dead. Due to us Baby Boomers entering our senior years and looking and acting younger, this age thing has to b e reevaluated. I refuse to be called granny by my grandchildren and will not be referred to as that old lady. It is convenient to plead old age sometimes though for they look at you with pity and look over the stupid mistakes. Now I don't make too many mistakes but every now and then I slip up and old age is as good an excuse as any and sounds better than most.

Another time I use this old age thing is when I want to express an opinion which may not be popular today. For example, I think female, women, ladies, and girls should cover up their boobs and butts. This showing your cleavage has gone beyond good taste and they are just about hanging out. In fact, a friend of mine was standing in Walmart and a large lady(?) was coming his way and when she shrugged her shoulder one large boob just fell right out of the tank top. She never stopped talking or walking but just picked it up and placed it back in her shirt. He about had a hissy fit and could not believe what he saw. The cashier said that happened often. Now this has gotten to the ridiculous.

The shorts and brief skirts are a little beyond acceptable also. When some of the females stroll by you just want to shout, "Please don't bend over, I don't want to see it." I wonder how they get a stride in some of the shorts or maybe they just put flossing thread to hold them in "pretend" shorts. I know it has to be terribly uncomfortable. Can you even imagine walking around with a string in that particular area of your anatomy and not being able to sit or bend over without flashing the world? Seems a lot ridiculous to me. Put on some clothes!

Mama used to tell me that a little mystery is good for the male/female relationship thing. If you show all the merchandise at one time you take all the mystery out of the chase and they just might not chase you anymore. After all, some of these women and girls showing all their merchandise would look a whole lot better with most of it covered up.

Now at our age we are well aware that we need to cover up most of our aging bodies for gravity has taken hold and is dragging it all down, down, down. We are beginning to sag and wrinkle but still have a few good points. The lower legs and ankles still look pretty good and the shoulders have not aged a lot and ...... Well that is about all I can leave uncovered at this time.

The suck, tuck, augment, add in, take out craze has not hit me yet. I understand my insurance will not pay for this and I guess I will have to put it off until I win the lottery (which I don't play) or strike oil in our back yard. Come to think of it, I haven't seen a single oil well in this part of Georgia so I guess that one is out also. My only other option is to divorce Roy and find a rich old man who is half blind and thinks I still look pretty good. Nope! Think I will keep the one I have and stay wrinkled for I have him trained pretty much like I want.

Weeeel. I started out to wish Roy happy birthday and give you a recipe, but I guess the recipe will have to wait. I chased that rabbit too long to ask you to sit on the 'Net Porch any longer and endure the heat and the gnats.

Ya'll have a good weekend and don't forget to go to Sunday School and Church tomorrow. It will make you a better person and most of us need all the help we can get.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach
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