Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Old People




Good morning, ya'll. I hope your day will be great as I know mine will be. At this age any day is great if you can get out of bed, straighten up without too much pain and go turn on the coffee pot. You know me, I have to have that coffee, coffee, ...... the first thing every day.

Many years ago a dumb doctor decided some of my ADD was caused by too much caffeine. At the time I thought all doctors were next to god, so I bought decaf coffee and tea and went cold turkey with no caffeine the next day. I felt rather saintly until a dull headache attacked my head about 10:00 and after taking 2 somethings for the pain I drank another cup of the decaf. About an hour later it was not better but worse so I took some more pills. By about 2:00, my head was hurting so bad I couldn't see and so called my sweet man. When he got me to the emergency room I was nauseous, head splitting and crying with pain. I was wanting anything they had to dull the pain.

When the doctor discovered I had gone cold turkey off caffeine, he informed me I was having a drug addiction withdrawal. I remember looking at him with my "Southern Lady" look of disdain and informed him it was caffeine I was doing without not drugs for my mama taught me better than to take drugs. Then he looked at me with disdain and informed me that caffeine was a drug and I was a "caffeine druggie." Can you believe a gentleman would tell a lady such a thing? Obvioulsy he was not raised up by a good Southern Lady mama for he would have said that maybe was I just a little too fond of my coffee and sweet iced tea. Some men, even doctors, just don't have any manners.

By this time I didn't care what I was, I just wanted something to kill the pain or me - take your choice. A great big shot of a real drug put me out and I didn't wake up until the next day and still had a headache. What did I do? I made a big pot of regular coffee, made tea and found some chocolate. If I was a caffeine addict, I was going into overload for I knew anything was better than that monstrous headache. When I called my doctor he about laughed his head off thinking that surely I had enough sense to taper off the drug not go cold turkey. Without laughing, I told him to stuff it as I drank a great, big mug of coffee and had a great ADD day.

Now I just drink all the coffee, tea and chocolate I desire, for at my age something is going to get me sooner than later and I think going skipping and running to the grave is a great way to go. So here comes hyper-dude with the white hair. Just get over it or get out of my way.

Speaking of age. We are both retired and now get to go places together. Yesterday we had to visit the Sams Club for a couple of items - came out with lot more than 2 - and as I observed the shoppers, it set me to thinking (ya'll know that is dangerous). Looking over the crowd while we ate our pretzels and had a great big coke, it soon became apparent that there must be a new club meeting at Sams. I think the age limit must be 70+ and you need a shopping cart for a walker.

There were numerous, elderly couples perambulating around the store very slowly. Now I may be old but I can move it on out and they sure were in my way. The drugstore aisles were quite busy with these older people buying their supplies of laxatives and fiber pills. I did notice that several of the men had Viagra prescriptions but not sure what they thought they could do with them. They were having to use a walker, cane or the shopping cart just to walk around.

I do know that even though there is snow on the top, the furnace may not be completely out. The proof of that statement was illustrated as I was people watching. An older couple came slowly by and the man said something to the lady with a smirk on his face and she slapped him on the bee-hind with a smirk and a smile on her face. They left the store with great big smiles and I think they had plans for the afternoon if they didn't forget what they were before they got home.

There really needs to be some fashion police around to help some of our older citizens dress a little more becomingly. As we grow older, there tends to added layers of insulation around our mid section but our legs stay pretty and slim. However, this does not mean you wear fitted knit tops and short shorts. There was this older lady parading around Sams in a sleeveless top, short shorts and great big honking walking shoes. Talk about ugly, that would draw a blister on you eye balls. I think she was looking for some action, but lady, with those rolls of fat hanging over the waist and the wings flapping under your upper arm, there is no man going to give you a second look. You see, at our age you cover up the unsightly members of your body with tasteful clothing and only show what hasn't drooped, dropped or grown larger. Doesn't leave much but looks a whole lot better than showing it all.

And men, please don't wear black support socks with white walking shoes and shorts. That is uuugly. Just wear your boat shoes without socks, cute walking shorts and a nice shirt which hides the big belly. You men can look quite handsome in your older years if you will just look in a full length mirror before you leave the house. Of course this is if you can see, if not check with an older lady for she will tell you how you look. Why is it older men can look pretty good, but a lot of us older women don't age so well? It must be the testosterone thing.

The conclusion I drew was that Sams Club should be renamed the Geriatric Club or there is a secret signal given for all those over 70 to flock to Sams. It may be the free samples for they were chowing down. I couldn't even get to the new brand of prune juice for a sample.

Ya'll have a great day and I am going to dance to the kitchen and get another cup of coffee.

Nuff said,


The Georgia Peach


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1 comment:

Jeanne a/k/a FAV adopted daughter:) said...

Happy Wednesday Momma Robson

When I read your blog, the first thing that caught my eye was the "Sr Citizen Crossing" sign... Somewhere in "your neck of the woods" Beck and I saw one... and she's the one who wanted to take it and post it in your front yard:) Not me, Momma Robson, no ma'am..:)

XOXO
Your FAV Adopted Daughter