Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pole Dancing

Lone Fisherman on Lake Eufaula by frances robson


Good evening and come on in the house for it is way too cold to sit on the 'Net Porch, even with a hot cup of coffee. We are having an Arctic Freeze way down here in South GA. It never reached 50 today and the wind was so strong it would blow a wig off your head - if you wore one. I had to run several errands this morning and I sure was glad ot get them done and come home.

Tonight is supposed to be below freezing again and tomorrow cold and windy again. If I didn't have to go to Valdosta and get beautified by Robert, I would hibernate in the house with a fire in the fireplace and heat turned up. You know women, if they have a beauty salon appointment wind, cold, rain, sleet, snow or minor illness will not keep us from that date. Hair cuts are a necessity of life for a woman and after all where else am I going to catch up on all the news from the Lowndes County School System? I need my hair cut and my news fix for the month.

Speaking of getting beautiful, I received a most unusual invitation last week. It was addressed to me so I assume or at least I know that they know who the invitation was being mailed to. I opened it thinking maybe it was another Christmas party, which I love, but was a little disappointed when I read it. Disappointed may not be the most accurate term for what I felt but maybe astonishment, wonder and "holy cow" they must mean someone else. You see it was an invitation to join a new fitness center just for women.

Not only do I dislike exercise but being for women only would make it a little boring for me for I do enjoy the company of men. A group of nothing but women can be a problem for their conversation usually consists of me, mine, what I bought, what I am going to buy and what I wish I could buy because someone else has one. Now before you get your panties in a wad, not all women are like this but you will have to admit that a lot of them are.

You see men talk about important things like politics, hunting, fishing, weather, and other important issues. They also scratch, spit and give you compliments if you are a woman in the group. I just seem to be able to converse with men better than women for being raised with 2 brothers sort of made feel real comfortable with the male species.

The second problem I had with this club was it was EXERCISE! I am lazy, I do not like to exercise and though I have done it in the past to keep my girlish figure, I am not a girl anymore but rather a full grown older woman and those girl days are forever gone so why should I exercise and starve myself to death to have a girlish figure? This was another reason I wondered why I had gotten that invitation.

As I continued to read, my mouth dropped open, my eyes bulged out and I began to laugh and laugh for I thought, what in the name of heavens was this all about? You see this fitness center has classes for pole dancing, chair dancing, G.I. Jane, Hip Hop Hottie, Tush tightening, tanning booths, juice bar and a lounge just for women. Their advertising goes like this: We encourage women to rediscover the joy of being sexy , mysterious, and creative. No nudity is involved and there is no audience. Let us discover a "Sexier way to fitness" and enjoy the awesome female design we've been blessed with.

Wow, they think I still have an awesome female designed body that needs to learn pole and chair dancing and be a hip hop hottie. Maybe I should be flattered but actually I am rolling in the floor with laughter for can't you just see me dancing around a pole and how in the world do you dance with a chair? I prefer a good looking man if I'm going to be dancing with it. I am afraid to ask what the G I Jane class would be.

Roy volunteered to install a broom stick as a pole for me to practice with in the bedroom and he said we had plenty of chairs for me to use. I told him if I ever got up that pole I am sure I would fall down and chairs just don't tempt me to dance. Can't you see me dancing around a pole in my pjs or twirling around a chair? Don't think it would accomplish what Roy is thinking it would but he can dream, can't he?

I was flattered that these 2 sweet ladies thought I would enjoy their fitness center and am even more flattered that they thought I might could do some of those classes, I think I will have to pass up this invitation. If they saw me in one of their mirrored walls they would ask me to leave for the image would kill their center's image of fitness.

If any of you want to join this center just let me know for I have the address and will glad to give it to you and let you dance with poles and chairs while I just dream about once upon a time and go to sleep in my warm bed.

Ya'll be careful going home and stay warm.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

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