Fashion Show and Muffins
Southern Gardenia by frances robson
Good morning and come on in to the porch and have a glass of peach tea with mint for it has finally cooled off after the nice rain this morning. It was so good to have some rain this morning for even though it is only May, it has been 90 to 100 degrees this week. I hope this is not the harbinger of what to expect this summer.
You know it is hard to shock me anymore for I taught in a high school for 20 years and you see and hear most anything but I was reminded yesterday that I can still be shocked. Maybe disgusted is a better description than shocked but it was not pretty and again I have to take some people to task about the clothing issue.
We were in a hospital waiting room yesterday sitting with a friend who's husband was having knee surgery and the parade of fashion faux pas proceeded. It was quite obvious that several factors did not enter into their choice of attire with not having a "A Good Southern Mama" or the Southern Fashion Police as part of their childhood as the main factor. Either of these would have not let them out of the house or in the house dressed as they were. Mama would have told us to go back to our rooms and find some clothes to put on.
It was also quite obvious they didn't any fashion sense either for it was quite awful and they were parading through that hospital like the Queen and King of Sheba or like they were on the New York Fashion runway. The group which was sitting directly in front of us were all large women of various ages and they were all obese - past the fluffy stage or pleasingly plump. It had hit the "where can we find scales that won't break when we step on them" size and they seemed to be proud of it for they were showing off most of it. Their muffin tops had grown int0 large inflated tires around the middle.
Close your eyes and picture lots of rolls of flesh hanging out, over, under and all around jiggling and moving around as they walked or moved. Several times I could see boobs almost popping over the little bit of cloth straining to cover the mountains and I was praying they wouldn't bend over. Too much would be seen that no person should have to be exposed to. What amazed me is the fact they chose these clothes to attire their bountiful bodies and then had the task of trying to keep it all covered with inadequate resources. In other words we saw just about everything for it was all on display.
My mama and the fashion police would be having fainting spells and heart palpitations at the lack of decency displayed for all us to try not to see. Those parts which were covered in some cases were covered so tightly I just know they had to use cooking spray to grease it down so they could slide the clothes on. I was just hoping they wouldn't move around too much for if they did some of it was going to rip right down the middle of the seat - oh me oh my what a sight that would have been. The patients in those beautiful hospital gowns that open down the back had on more clothes than this group did.
Then you had the others who just looked like they threw some clothes up in the air out of the dirty clothes basket and their bodies caught them as they ran out of the door. Dingy, unironed, and certainly not matching was the results of this "dressing to go to the hospital" attire. When will some people learn that clean and ironed is so much better than dingy and wrinkled is the look we should strive for when dressing our bodies for public or private viewing. I wouldn't even dress like some of them at home for the cat might throw me out the door.
Now for the shoes - house slippers are not to be worn in public and especially if they are about the size of ocean liners. If you are a patient in the hospital then that's OK but please visitors in the lobby, put on something else for the big, sloppy, dirty house shoes are just not appropriate. There are some really cute flip flops available for not a lot of money and would look a whole lot better.
If you are wondering if I am a snob - I'm not but our Southern Mama taught us that dressing decently in and out of public is the polite thing to do. After all women, a little mystery is good but letting it all hang out is revolting and especially if you have a whole ton of it. Men, we like you cleaned up, hats on straight, pressed and with shoes on if we are going to be seen with you.
Just saying that yesterday afternoon was interesting and I hope the next time I have to sit in the waiting room of a hospital or any other public place it will be freezing so some people will put on some clothes.
Speaking of obesity and muffin tops, I have a good recipe to share with you but if we eat only one, it won't add too many pounds and at least we can cover it up if we have it.
Carrot Orange Muffins
1 12 oz.(340 g.) Carrot Cake Muffin Mix - (I used Anastasia Bakery)
¼ cup vegetable oil
½ cup orange juice
½ cup coarsely grated carrots
1/3 cup oatmeal
½ cup dried cranberries
1 tsp. Orange extract or flavoring
optional – add zest of orange when mixing
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Spray or line muffin pan – 12 muffins
Combine orange juice, oil, and eggs in small bowl. Combine the muffin mix, grated carrots, oatmeal and dried cranberries in large mixing bow and add the oil, orange juice mixture and flavoring and mix for 2 min. Do not over mix or the muffins will be tough. Divide the batter among the 12 muffin cups and bake in preheated oven for 17-20 min or until toothpick inserted in center of muffin comes out clean. Cool 2 -3 minutes in pan before removing.
Ya'll be careful going home and come back to see me and I will always have sweet tea waiting on you with a sprig of fresh mint.
The Georgia Peach
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