Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dog Days of Summer



Good evening ya'll. It has been a good Sunday here in South Georgia - sunny, hot, and humid. What more could you ask for, at least in August? These are the "Dog Days of Summer, however, so what do we expect?


Now, I thought, the dog days were a Southern thing that we made up here in the South. If you have ever observed the southern hound dogs during this time of the year they are just hanging around under the front porch, digging holes under the shrubbery, digging holes in the garden, tongues hanging out the side of their mouths and mostly just doing nothing. They dig enough holes to start a new turnip patch when it gets a little cooler. It's a wonder some front porches don't fall to the ground in some of the holes these dogs dig.


What they are doing is trying to find a cool spot and so do we. I just hibernate in the house with the air conditioning going full blast, drink a lot of cold iced tea and coke. You go outside only to get in the car which has the AC running and wish for cooled seats. Why I heard a lady say at church today that she had sweated her face powder off 2 times before she got to church and you know we ladies do hate to have a shiny nose. It makes our nose look larger than it really is and that is just not to our liking. Now I kinda think she had re-powdered a little too much, but she may like the "dipped in the flour barrell" look.
Another friend of mine, who like me is slightly fluffy, said she had almost used a whole box of baby powder trying to keep her legs from rubbing together!! Isn't that a shame? I know how she feels though for mine do the same thing unless you get around a corner and fan your skirt to get a little air moving to dry off the sweat. There is nothing more uncomfortable than your thighs rubbing together and sweat making them stick. It feels like 2 suction cups trying to keep you from walking and is really uncomfortable. It also sounds like 2 suction cups.

You men just don't know what we mean unless you wear a kilt and I don't know any of those men. Any man around here who would wear a skirt sure wouldn't do it in public unless it was a certain bar off I 75 in Valdosta. I've been told there are a few there in skirts but no Southern Lady would be caught dead in a place like that much less alive.


Now are there are some in ATlanta who wear skirts for I saw one. I was sitting in a stall of a ladies restroom one day tending to business when I heard the outer door open. The click of high heels came my way and this lady entered the stall next to me. Now you know the walls of most of these stalls don't go all the way to the floor so I was admiring this smart pair of high-heeled pumps on a long slender foot next to me. I was wondering if I could wear a pair like that for the heels were kinda high but they were smart looking and the legs weren't bad either. You know these ATlanta ladies are a little more fashion minded than those of us below the Macon Gnat line so I was observing. Much to my surprise, the shoes didn't turn around to face the door like my shoes but I distinctly heard the sound of tinkling water.
Well, I thought, how in the world is she tinkling standing up. That would be a little messy. Then it me between the eyes like a sledge-hammer, it was a MAN wearing women's shoes and he/she even had on stockings. Now you better believe I finished my business hurriedly, pulled up my panty hose, adjusted my skirt and walked briskly out of that restroom. I didn't even wash my hands which I knew my mama was having a stroke about, but I was having a stroke and afraid I would have the vapors and just pass out right there if he? or she? had come out while I was washing my hands.

I told my husband in a hushed voice to look at the door and see who came out. When the door opened, out came this very attractive, well-dressed "lady" and she sashayed right over and sat down by this very attractive "man." Now by this time I was about to keel over and needing my smelling salts. I had to keep reminding myself, "This is Atlanta, this is Atlanta, ....... After all, those of us who don't live in ATlanta just have to remember that this is the big city and is "different."

How did I get to there from here - not quite sure but I think I began with hot weather and dog days of summer. By the way, I did a little research on the 'Net and found out it all goes back to some Romans and the stars. I am attaching a link just in case you want to become a little more edjicated. It is a little disappointing that is not named in honor of our Southern Hound Dogs for they are an integral part of our culture. A lot of families down here treasure their hound dogs. Maybe we could redo that myth?


Nuff said,


The Georgia Peach, but not form ATlanta

****************************************************************************

No comments: