AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. VIRUS 

(This comes with a warning - if you don’t like sarcasm, don’t read!)

April 11, 2020

Dear Mr. Corona Virus,

This is to let you know it is time for you to go away, get lost, vamoose, or scram.  You are no longer welcome here in this world.   “Social Distancing”, Quarantine, Stay At Home, orders are a real pain in the buttocks.  You think you have the world by the tail and it seems that way at the present time but I don’t like it. This is all your fault so please vamoose. 

Why am I so upset? Weeell, let me give you a clue.  I cannot get in my car and go anywhere I want to without a stupid looking mask on my face.  When I arrive at the grocery store (about the only place we can go) I have to be sure my mask is in place, gloves on my hands or sanitizing wipes clenched tightly in my hand to wipe every surface before touch it, and look around for people so that I can  6’ away from them. Some, I don’t mind because warm weather can bring out odors on some people.  By the way, Mr. Virus, this is everybody, even my close friends and neighbors.  Do you think this is the way we act in South Georgia?  We have to hug, pat on the back, and ask about their mamas and them.  That is difficult to do standing 6’ away without shouting and do we really want everybody to know that mama is losing her mind with all the viruses going around or that the grandchildren are driving their parents insane ? You may air your “dirty laundry” in public but our Southern mamas taught us differently.  We only whisper it to our best friends and swear them to secrecy.  

This situation is also keeping me from going to Walmart except EARLY in the morning and I don’t do “early morning”. ! I have to go to Walmart for my entertainment!  Where else can I go and see strange people acting weirdly.  It is also where I see all my friends and I can’t hug them so why see them? By the way, Walmart is the only place in town I can buy fishing worms and that is the only recreation I have right now so please move on so I can go to Walmart again at a decent time and hug all my friends. I need to catch up on all the news (gossip). 

The most irritating of all restrictions and  why I am  grumpy, whiny, put-out, angry, and about to throw a “hissy fit” is that I cannot go to the beach.  You see, you nincompoop, because of you and people acting stupidly and gathering in bunches during Spring Break on the Florida beaches, the governor shut them all down.  Now I cannot walk on the beach until I calm down and you should see what this is doing to my tan.  IT IS ALMOST GONE!! I look older without my brown fat?  White fat is awful looking so go away.

Speaking of “looks”, Mr. Virus, I need a haircut badly for it takes me more than 5 minutes to blow-dry my hair and that is unacceptable.  I am gaining weight, so soon my clothes will be too small and I can’t blame it on the dryer any longer.  Someone has to eat the snacks before they become stale, right?  Cooking from scratch is a bummer and though it tastes great, there go some more pounds on the hips.  You need to exit the world before we all look like the Goodyear blimp with long hair. 

You have turned me into thinking wisely most of the time and I’m tired of being nice.  I want to be grumpy occasionally and not Miss Positive and Miss Sunshine all the time, for this is difficult sometimes.  I want to throw something now and then, say a little cuss word maybe, drink a whole bottle of wine (just kidding) or run around the house naked (not really for I can’t run anymore).  I want to put on a pretty dress, go out to eat inside the restaurant, and to the movies, not streaming on TV.  Mr. Virus, you are making me into a whole new person, and I kind like the old one. 

Mr. Corona Virus, if this letter offends you, so be it.  I am tired of beating around the bush and people blaming everyone else for our problems - politicians, religious leaders, and other countries.  You have made us into paranoid, selfish hoarders of toilet paper of all things.  I guess the most popular Christmas gift this year will be a six month supply of toilet paper with some bottled water.  Of course you can leave off the water or the toilet paper may not last 6 months. 

Now that I have told you what I think, will you please GO AWAY.  You are not wanted here and please take all the hoarders with you for we don’t need them either.  

As we say in the South, good riddance to bad company and don’t let the door hit you in the backside as you go out the door.

Sincerely,
Frances 

Enter and Exit ?

 After much observation and scientific study, I have concluded that many, if not most people do not have the faintest idea what the definition is of 2 common words.  I am not sure if they can't read them or their reading comprehension is extremely low. After experiencing the results  of people not being able to read or comprehend the meaning of them every time I go shopping I decided to see if you have come to the same conclusion I have - most people can't read these 2 words - "enter" and "exit."

One of these words has 2 syllables and the other one has 1 syllable so I fail to see the difficulty in reading or understanding them. They are over the doors of every business with an enter and exit option and people use them every day but they still cannot read or understand what these 2 words are telling them they should do. I just can't understand it for they appear to be people of intelligence.

These people go in the exit and out the enter in droves and herds and don't seem to find anything strange in their actions. It's as if enter means exit and exit means enter. I want to throw up my hands and say, "Whatever", "Didn't you get past the 1st grade?" or did you fail reading completely. The adjectives such as stupid, dumb and dumber, totally clueless and what in the name of heavens are you doing walking around, come to my mind. It is just extremely distressing to me for these same people are driving cars out of the parking lots and I wonder if they can read Stop and Go.

As I came out of Hobby Lobby on Saturday, I was almost run over by a horde of women and children entering in the exit door. I had to move to the side, almost knock over a big lamp and hit a nice man, getting out of their way. It was like a stampede of people rushing in the store and I can't understand why for it was Hobby Lobby not Walmart. I expect it at Walmart but not Hobby Lobby unless you need a truck load of crafting supplies. The craft supplies are not flying off the shelves, so what was the hurry?

This was not my first experience with this behavior and I commented to the gentleman I almost knocked over, "Can these people not read or just don't care?" His answer was, "I think they just don't care and if you don't move, they will run over you." To which I answered loudly as the herd went by, "I think I will go home now and I AM GOING TO EXIT THROUGH THE EXIT, NOT THE ENTER."

One lady (?) turned around and looked at me like, what is your problem lady and I just smiled and walked away, shaking my head and muttering, "Bless her heart." If she heard me I doubt she understood the intent but if she did, "Bless her heart."

Now I don't have an answer to this problem which is spreading from store to store, town to town, city to city and on and on. It doesn't seem to help to shorten it to "in" and "out" for most of these people cannot read that either and arrows pointing toward the intended actions also don't work. So what do we do?

Well the obvious answer is to ignore these signs and go in and out willy nilly regardless of the posted signs. The other solution would be to switch the signs to opposite sides in case all of these people can't tell right from left and bless us if they drive. The last suggestion would be to take down all the signs and let people enter and exit as they please and pray you won't get run over.

If you have an answer to this problem, please let me know for I was taught by mama and daddy to obey all signs - enter, exit, in, out, don't walk on the grass, keep to the right and on and on and so not to anger them as they look down from heaven, I still obey signs. There is one I hope all these strange people will follow are the women and men, gents and ladies, bulls and heifers and other such gender related signs over restrooms for I don't think my heart can take a man walking in my public restroom as I "rest."

Nuff said for today and ya'll come back to see me.

Summer Dress Code for Shopping

Good morning and come on in for a cold drink and some deep conversation.  A good, cool, refreshing drink can be made with equal parts mango nectar, Sprite or other citrus soft drink and slices of lemon.  Add a sprig of mint and you have a wonderful summer cooler.  You can also use peach nectar and I usually find these in the Hispanic food section and they are rich in flavor.  I use the nectar in our smoothies for additional vitamin C and they add a depth of flavor that is wonderful. 

Summer is here in South Georgia and as you know, I love it for I am a hot weather Southern Belle.  There are a few side affects which are unpleasant down here such as gnats and mosquitoes but slapping these just gives you wrist exercise to keep them slim and lovely.  You also sweat a lot but a cool drink, sitting in the shade in a swing will relieve this and is restful and enjoyable.  Down here in the South, we will use any excuse to sit in the swing, in the shade and drink a glass of sweet iced tea, lemonade or ice cold water.  We can be a slow bunch sometimes but why hurry through life?

While I was doing a little shopping yesterday I remembered I had forgotten the "Summer Dress Code for Shopping" here in the South.  After a stroll through the mall, the Dollar Tree, lunch at Red Lobster, and quick trip to Walmart I realized I was totally not dressed appropriately.  You see I had worn cropped pants, blouse with sleeves and neckline which showed no cleavage, small tasteful earrings and was hopelessly out of style.  It was really embarrassing and immediately labeled me as not having any fashion consciousness and old fashioned.  This is terrible and I must do better the next time I go shopping so I will fit in with the crowd. 

There are several dress codes I could follow for it all depends on where you are shopping.  The mall's dress code is the top code and it goes downhill from there.  In the mall you usually see hemlines above the knee but not displaying buttocks and necklines which show a little cleavage but not the entire booby.  Flip flops are OK but not house slippers and sandals are better.  The best shoe for the mall are high, high heels so you will wobble as you walk and have a pained expression on your face because of the pain in your feet. Jewelry will be lots of chains and long earrings but are usually gold or silver and don't look like loot from a drug bust.  You will look fashionable, up-scale, and stylish but not "stylin" or "hootchie mama."

I found this was the code of choice for lunch at Red Lobster as the professional ladies came in for lunch.  There was also a large group of teachers eating lunch and we all know they dress conservatively, neatly and without a whole lot of style for we can't afford it ( I am a retired teacher so I know).  On the whole, the patrons were nicely dressed, fashionable and following the Mall Dress Code.

Now Walmart was a different scene!  Summer Dress Code for Walmart and similar shopping venues tend to be a bit more casual or maybe a lot more casual.  As I observed the fashion trends in the Valdosta Walmart yesterday I realized that again I was out of step with the fashion trends and needed to refresh my wardrobe if I was going to fit in at "Wally World". 

The code seemed to have the following guidelines:

1. Hemline is above the knee and showing lower part of the buttocks.
2. Neckline is plunging at least half way down the boobs or showing most of these beauties.
3. Shoes can be house slippers, inexpensive plastic flip flops, or big fluffy slippers in the shape of animals.
4. Halter tops which are loosely tied so boobs will fall out is high fashion.
5. Tank top straps can be no more than 1/4 inches wide.
6. Jewelry must be huge, plastic and earrings pull the ear lob down at least 1 inch. 
7. Necklaces should have at least 5 strands and the more strands the better.
8. Dresses should be be at least 1 size too small and jeans have to be so tight you need greased legs and hips to get them on.
9. Shorts should be short enough the buttocks will show and the large the beehind is, the better.
10. Make up is optional but if you choose to wear it, use all you have for you can buy more at the store as you stroll through.
11. Don't forget the large to super large tote bags so you can knock fellow customers over as you charge down the aisles.

If you need any clarification for any of these rules, just visit you local Wally World, sit for about 10 minutes on the bench in the front of store and you can refresh your memory. Don't forget to take your cell phone so you can take pictures and above all talk continually and loudly on the phone so you can be annoying as possible.

After reading this, you may wonder why I shop at this upscale store but it is cheap and where can you see a live theater for free!  So come on down to Wally World and watch the show with me and enjoy yourself.

Ya'll come back to see me and try my cool drink idea.

Nuff said,
The Georgia Peach

Pistol Packin' Mama

Good morning, ya'll. Come on into the house, but maybe not - not sure you can get in. We are still remodeling our kitchen and the whole house is a mess so maybe we will just sit on the porch. I do have some tea or coke for a "light refreshment" but that's about it for I am still not able to cook so you will have to take a raincheck on some cookies or pound cake. The countertop and sink are on the way as we speak and will be glad to get that done. It is exciting but exhausting.

If you wonder why I have a the pictures at the top, well we are taking a gun safety and how to shoot class. Last night was our first night and it is an unusual class - strange that is. I thought sure we would be the oldest but no way for there was a sweet, little, old lady taking it for the 3rd or 4th time. She came in using her cane, toting her pistol and a notebook for notes and brightened the whole class. She is a hoot as we would say down here in the South. I would advise not going to her home without calling first for she knows how to use that gun and she wear it in holster over her apron.

There were also a few macho men, several ladies in various age ranges, and 2 married couples. It seems that most of us are taking it to learn more about how to shoot, when to shoot and practice shooing. 2 said they were scared to even touch a gun and their husbands made them come and it will be interesting to see if they overcome their fears. I'm in the group of wanting to know more and wanting to practice shooting a revolver. The 410 shotgun is my favorite snake shooting gun but want to learn to hit less than the broadside of a red barn with the pistol.

The first thing I learned is that SOME law enforcement men have a huge ego and like to display it. Now I am not talking about our grandson but some of them. The instructor is cute but maybe not as cute as he thinks he is, get my drift. Nice man though and he does know what he is doing and is a good teacher so I will just enjoy the view and learn all I can.

My first discovery last night was that I am not packing a gun but a revolver - a Smith and Wesson revolver. Roy is packing a semi-automatic which I am going to learn how to shoot also for loading it is much easier. Mine I have to put in 6 shells but I learned about clips which will reload all 6 at once so I have to learn how to use one of these. He wants us to become quick-shooting and reloading, gun-toting citizens. Now that is not my ambition but will pretty well do what I want to for I'm a trifle older than he is so I will just pull rank - the age rank that is.

Saturday we will going to the firing range for an all day shooting match with lunch and light refreshment. If I had my stove working I would take a pound cake and some sweet iced tea but I will settle for whatever they provide for us and say, "Thank you" for that is the Southern way. Even when we are shooting a paper man we will remember our manners and say "Pardon me while I try to shoot you in the little x in the center of your heart." At least maybe I can hit him in the body somewhere.

Now if you are wondering why I am doing all this, there is a simple answer - I am a Southern woman who was raised around guns, have guns and like to shoot them. Daddy took us hunting as children and I liked it but don't do it anymore for I don't like to get up early. I also like it for self-protection for we live out in the country and who knows what 2 legged or 4 legged critters might come my way. It is much more likely to be the 4 legged kind or those that crawl on the ground but whatever I want to be prepared to give them a hurtin'.

I also travel by myself a lot and like to have pistol on the seat by me for you never know who might challenge a little ole white-haired lady to a duel or try to take advantage of her. Right, but I can dream can't I? Just being realistic for there might be a "critter" who needs chastising a little.

One of the young ladies in our class recently had her home broken into and several things stolen from her. She coaches and gets in late a lot and is now afraid to go in her house alone. Can't imagine how that would make you feel but I know daddy and mama were held at knife point several years ago and it changed their attitude about being safe until they died. Don't worry about it, but we do live way out in the country and just want to take precautions and stay safe.

Now, please, if you are one of those dear friends of mine that think owning and shooting guns is terrible, awful and we should not, just don't get your panties all in a wad. I respect your feelings but as for me, I want to have a gun and know how to use it but don't plan to shoot anyone or anything unless absolutely necessary. I do know I could if it meant protecting me or mine and I will protect you if you need it.

Oh yes, I must put a disclaimer on the picture on the left, that is not me - not even in my wildest dreams but a girl can wish can't she? She looks good doesn't she? Maybe when I put my ear protectors on I will look like her - mayby, kinda, sorta, not on your life.

Well, after we shoot on Saturday I will let ya'll know how I did and I will take some pictures to share with ya'll. Be careful going home and come back soon for some "light refreshment" and conversation or "comersation" as our daughter would say.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

Confusion

Good morning, or at least I think it is. I am confused, puzzled, bumfuzzled and in a state of bewilderment. As you can see, my kitchen is in disarray - no stove, no oven and dust everywhere. In fact it looks worse than this for now the cabinet doors and drawers are gone. It is totally a mess, right now.

The good thing is that it is going to get better for Mike and Kathy are making it amazing and I am looking forward to getting it all new and better. BUT, we are going to have to dust everything in the house. It really needed it before we started all this and when Roy offers to help me you know it is bad. Don't worry, he will be getting a dust rag and his help will be most appreciated.

To increase this state of confused mind, I went into Hobby Lobby and Michael's last week and there we were - what month is it? On one side I had Halloween, on the other side there was Thanksgiving, Christmas was dead ahead. What in the name of seasons is going on? I don't know if I should say "Boo, Thank you for our blessings, or Merry Christmas." Don't forget "Happy New Year" for those are out also. Confused? NO, for I feel like I am a land of no time and it is scary as heck. Everywhere I turn there is orange, brown, green, red, gold, silver, yellow, blue and black. Do these people not realize that these colors do not blend well and in fact they clash and create a cacophony of noisy colors.

I am beginning to wonder why have different holidays but just bundle them all together and have about 2 weeks of celebration and then go on with our normal life. It is getting before you finish with 4th of July, you are celebrating Christmas and everything in between. Just think, 1 card, 1 gift, 1 holiday and we are through. Not a bad idea, what do you think?

Then after all this confusion, I went to the hospital to visit a friend who was having surgery and as I sat in the lobby with their family I became more befuddled. Have you every sat in a hospital lobby or waiting room and watch the parade of strange, weird, odd and aliens from outer space walk by. All we needed was some Halloween decorations and we could have had a costume party.

There were skinny, fat, tall, short, dark, pale, and everything in between. Wow, what a show. There were people in scrubs - of all colors, professional white, suits, dresses, capris, jeans, short-shorts, sweat pants, undershorts and shirts and most any type of shoe you would want. Then there were the clean, the dirty, the neat and the unkempt.

The most unusual was the large (fat) tattooed man, with the long, greasy hair, bandanna head band, dirty long beard, too-small sweat pants, and under shirt and flip flops. Our eyes bugged out, mouths dropped open, stopped breathing, and said "Did you see that?" We wished for a camera but I think he would have attacked if we had taken the picture for it was a scary sight that won't leave my mind. The wife was in short-shorts, tank top, dirty hair - well you get the idea. These people were in PUBLIC and walking around like they had good sense. It was plumb scary.

A thought which always come to mind is that is someones children and someone actually birthed them. Poor mom, I don't think she knew what she was inflicting on the world and poor people that they don't realize they need to CLEAN UP for heaven's sake. We have to look at them as they parade around in all their lack of finery. You want to take the fire hose and clean 'em up.

Another confusion for me when I am in the hospital is when I see a former student of mine walk by in medical garb. We almost didn't get them out of school with a diploma and here they are with lives in their hands! I just pray they only tote stuff for other people who know what they are doing. It's a scary thought to think my life could be in some of these hands.

Maybe I need to just stay at the house, lock the door, shut off the TV, play soft music, take a couple of sleeping pills, go to bed, cover up my head, and sleep until January the 2. BUT, then we get Valentines, Easter, St. Patrick's Day and on and on get all mixed up. Ya'll pray for me for I've always been a little confused and it is getting worse. Anyone want to come and lead me through the confusion?

Ya'll have a good day and I'm going to town and do some "sight seeing." If any of this sounds confusing - I am.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

My First Pedicure

Good evening, ya'll. Come on in the 'Net Porch and sit with me awhile. I've been thinking about our trip to Atlanta this weekend and what a good time we had. It was a great trip and I shopped and shopped and shopped and ate at several good places. We also enjoyed our time with our daughter, Becky, and met some of her good friends and loved them. She was our chauffer this weekend because she knows how not to get killed in that traffic up there in "Hotlanta,"

I was excited to have my very, first pedicure on Saturday afternoon. Becky, Beth, Cindy and some of my friends have been telling me what a great experience this is. Now I've been putting it off because of my ugly bunion and crooked toe which I had fixed last fall. Thoug it has a few scars,nothing major, and they kept urging me to get this pedicure thing, I finally thought well why not? At my age, old as dirt, I'll try most anything to add a little excitement to my life.

The secret reason is that I was afraid to go by myself. I didn't want to act like the "Country Mouse" from South Georgia. Having never even watched anyone get a pedicure I just knew there was a certain protocol involved and I didn't want to embarrass myself, or Becky, and I wanted her to go with me. Having lived in Atlanta for several years, she has become the "City Mouse" and all citified. She could make sure I played it cool and not act like an unsophisticated, old woman, which I am.

I have also been delaying this pleasure for deep down I thought I would be wasting money. Mama never got a pedicure or a manicure except when she was in cosmetology school. She always painted her own fingernails and toenails and cut her own hair and I was following her example, except for the hair. I finally decided it was my money, I earned it and could spend it like I wanted to and I wanted a pedicure so my toe nails would look pretty.

Come Saturday afternoon I was a little anxious for I just knew I was going to make a big idiot out of myself. Becky told me she had scheduled her friend to work her magic on my feet and she would tell me what to do so off we went to the "nail heaven" for my new experience.

When I walked in the shop, I wished I had put my multicultural dictionary in my purse for they sure were not speaking English. I kinda figured out it was an Asian language so I just smiled a lot and kept nodding my head. It was about 10 women and 2 men working up a storm on people's hands and feet and the place was abuzz with chattering in several different languages. I thought, Oh my, will I make it through this without totally embarrassing myself and Becky?

About the time I sat down, a little man, about my size, said something to me and I kinda figured out he was the boss, but I didn't understand a word that man said. I just smiled, nodded my head and said nothing. Becky said, "Mama, you need to go pick out the color polish you want." She pointed at the back wall where there were a couple hundred various colors of nail polish all lined up. The only other place I have seen that many colors is in a drugstore and I have a difficult time make a decision when confronted with too many choices.

I approached the shelves with bewilderment, for I usually use a light pink when I do it myself, and heavens to Betsy, there was pinks, red, purples, greens, blues, blacks, glowing colors, muted colors, and some even had sparkly stuff in them. I tried to look cool and sophisticated as I perused the shelves of polish and I finally picked one I thought would be bright but not too bright and no sparkles. I didn't want to look like a "floozy" as mama would say.

As I was carrying the bottle to the little man, Becky intercepted me and said, "Mama, don't you think that's a little red and bright." Well, I looked at it and thought well, maybe and after all I am an older woman so I obediently went back and got a muted pink with a little bit of brown tone. She approved of that one and I took it a little table by a big lounge chair and had a seat with the little man helping me like I was a 100 and a doddering old fool.

He told me to sit back, put my feet in a little foot washing, whirlpool bathtub in front of my chair but when I put my feet in, I about scalded them. It was a lot, too hot so he had to cool it off while I checked to see if the skin was still on my feet. When I put them back in, I thought I had died and gone to heaven for it was warm, swirling around my feet and felt soooo good. I had no idea that a whirlpool for your feet would make you feel good all over.

Leaning back in the chair and relaxing was no problem until he asked me something and I said yes and he turned that chair on to massage my body. Now I mean he put it on full massage, maximum speed and I thought a giant squid had a hold of my body and was squeezing me, lifting me up, pummelling my back and squeezing my shoulders all at the same time. I tried to look pleased but I was hunting those buttons to shut that thing off before it squeezed me to death after it beat me senseless. That thing attacked me! I was about ready to jump out of that chair and shoot it for I thought it was alive.

Meanwhile I was soaking my feet and soaking my feet and soaking my feet for she was running a little behind in time. Finally she came and began to work her magic. Her name is Christine and she is a lovely young lady who can play with my feet anytime she wants to for she worked wonders.

She trimmed, filed, buffed, scrubbed, and rubbed my feet and legs until I just knew I was in heaven and an angel had a hold of me. She massaged my feet and legs and that felt so good and then she began to paint my toe nails. She put on 3 or 4 coats of various and sundry polishes and they looked so pretty. Christine had made my feet pretty again and I was amazed at how good they looked. She took me to a bench and I had to stick my feet into a little box, which blew warm air on my feet to dry the polish. That was a neat experience also for it was warm and it felt so good, I though about taking a nap.

Now is when disaster struck. The machine cut off, I pulled out my feet and low and behold I raked the polish off my big toe. I was about ready to cry and Becky said very sternly, "Go show Christine what you've done so she can fix it." I felt like a little girl who had misbehaved and my mama was getting on me. I sheepishly went and showed her, got back in the chair and she very sweetly fixed it for me. That time I kept it under that fan for a long time and very carefully removed my feet because I didn't want "Mama Becky" to look at me like that again.

I carefully walked out and got in the car and kept looking at my feet in my pretty sandals and thinking, "Why haven't I done this before?" I can guarantee you one thing, it won't be the last time I do this, for it is addictive. Not sure if I will ever get the fingernails done for I tend to work in the yard, wash dishes, and clean house without gloves, for they bother me. I'll just keep them short and buffed and let my feet do the talking.

Roy was dutifully impressed when we got back to the motel and said all the right things about the beauty of my feet. I explained to him that this new experience was wonderful and getting the polished nails was the minor joy for the scrubbing, massaging and lotions was the best part. It makes your feet and legs feel like new.

Now I have had that experience, plan to do it again but not too often. You see I have a lot of Tootsie and Ott Polk in me and they would not think that was a very wise use of my money, especially daddy. Not sure that will deter me for that was a grand experience, in spite of the "Attacking Chair."

Well, I have bored you long enough and I'm ready to go to bed. Gandy Stuart used to say, as he turned off his hearing aid, "My trains a tootin and I'm going to bed" and I hear my train.

Ya'll take care and come back to see me.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

Peachy Summer and Catalog Ads

Good evening and come on in for a glass of tea. It is hot as a "cat on a hot tin roof" today and I had the bright idea of picking blueberries at 12:00. Not too smart but was riding around in our EZ Go and saw they needed picking so I did. I picked most of them but will finish up in the morning - EARLY. I did have my cute, Southern Belle, straw hat on but I still got awfully hot.

We just absolutely love blueberries but we have let our blueberry bushes get overgrown with vines. They are really old and we need to get some new ones and I want to plant them closer to the house for they make a pretty shrub. This plus a good fruit is a winner for me and I'm pretty sure the new ones will be up here at the house. If you don't have any blueberry bushes, you need to get some for they are easy to grow. Buy them from a dealer who knows your area so that he can help you pick the 2 types you need for good cross-pollination. They are a great shrub and delicious fruit.

Yesterday I had some peaches I needed to peel and either freeze or bake something and I chose the latter. I haven't made peach bread in a long time so thought it was about time. This is my recipe I have adapted from several others and adding the lemon zest and juice, use almonds rather pecans, makes a delicious peach bread that should be called peach cake. The other step I add is sifting my dry ingredients together rather than just mix for I think it gives it a better texture and the cinnamon mixes in better.

This a very moist bread that toasts well and needs to be kept in the refrigerator if you don't consume it when it comes out of the oven. It is also quite rich and tastes more like cake than bread and you can freeze one of the loaves for later. I hope you try it and let me know how it turned out.

SOUTH GEORGIA PEACH BREAD


3 c. sliced fresh peaches
1 3/4 c. plus 2 tbsp. sugar, divided
1 tsp. lemon zest
2 c. flour (1 cup whole wheat & 1 cup white or 2 of either)
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. butter Crisco
2 eggs
2 Tbsp. lemon juice
½ cup finely chopped toasted almonds or finely chopped toasted pecans
1 tsp. vanilla

Puree peaches, zest and 6 tablespoons of sugar in food processor or blender. Combine and sift dry ingredients; set aside. Combine remaining sugar and shortening; cream well. Add eggs; mix well.
Blend in peach puree, then dry ingredients. Stir in nuts and vanilla. Spoon batter into 2 well greased and floured 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf pans. Bake at 325 degrees for 55 minutes or until done.

Cool 10 minutes in pan; turn out on rack and cool completely.

A friend of mine told me that a deli here has blueberry cornbread and that it was delicious so I think I will find that recipe and give it a try. It it is good, I will share it with you.

As many of you know, I like to peruse catalogs and laugh at some of the descriptions. One I was perusing yesterday made me wonder if anyone proofs some of these adds from an outsider's point of view or maybe they think it is cute or whatever. Maybe it is my warped sense of humor but some of them just set my mind to rocking and rolling and it is a good laugh for me. Soooo, I thought I would share a few from the latest catalog of hunting and fishing and various and sundry other items. It's the various and sundry which get a little weird.

1. Easy-fit Waistband Stretcher - This is one I need for it says it will gently stretch the waistband of jeans, slacks and shorts so that you can move easier. You insert this stretcher ,which looks like a torture instrument, into the waist of wet clothes and it stretches them as much as 5 inches. --- I think this is great except for 1 minor problem. The waist is larger but what about the hips? You will have this nice loosely fitting waist and still have the too-tight hips. Won't that look a little funny and you have to do this each time you wash the garment. Maybe I just need to loose a "little" of my excess baggage around the waistline.

2. Spray-on Duct Tape - This is a head-scratcher. How can it be tape if it is sprayed out of a can?

According to Mr. Webster, tape is: " A continuous narrow, flexible strip of cloth, metal, paper, or plastic, such as adhesive tape, magnetic tape, or ticker tape." There is no way this can be sprayed out of can. People, this is false advertising and because duct tape is a staple item in every home it borders on blasphemy. Maybe they need to rename it something like "Spray on Plastic which looks like Duct Tape but Isn't."

3. Hidden in Plain Sight; Octagon Gun Clock - Now will someone please tell me how in the name of Dixie can you hide something and it be in plain sight? You either hide it FROM plain sight or you leave it out in plain sight - you can't have it both ways. It is either hidden or not hidden. Plus, if this item is advertised in every sporting catalog and magazine don't you think that if a robber is looking to steal a handgun he will first tear up all your clocks in the house to see if you have "hidden" your gun in a "plain sight." Get a grip catalog writers and think about what you are printing.

4. Guide Gear Lounge Pants - Field Tested - Nope, no way, no how do I want my lounge pants to be field tested before I get them. Can you imagine what could have been done in those pants before you get them? I want mine pure and clean and NOT field tested before I get them That is gross.

5. Feed the Cat Low Sneakers - This one is a "head scratcher." Do you wear these when feeding the cat? Can you wear them to feed the dog? Do I have to feed the cat in a low spot or will a high table do? Lots of unanswered questions here.

6. Noble Oxfords - I assume these are for nobility and not for the "plain" folks like me. Wonder if you feel like a noble when wearing them? Or does this mean that people who are scoundrels can't wear them because they are noble? Ponder this one.

7. Island Surf Splash Water Shoes - Now I have heard of specializing but this is ridiculous. When you have to start buying special shoes to splash around in the water and waves it is getting way out of hand. What do you do when you want to walk on the sand? I guess you have to get a pair of Island Sand Stay out of the Water shoes. Seems a little expensive to me.

8. Hush Puppies Offshore Sandals. - Here we go again. Shoes for wearing offshore but not on shore. What has this world come to when you have to buy 2 different pair of shoes to go play in the water? We just used our bare feet, thank you maam.

Well, ya'll come back to see me and maybe, just maybe, I won't be in such a silly mood but then maybe I will. Can't ever tell and that keeps life interesting.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

Residents of Adel GA by Frances Robson

Good evening.

Ya'll come on into the 'Net Porch and sit a spell. I have a fresh pitcher of iced tea and some fresh mint if you would like to put a sprig in it. My mint is growing by leaps and bounds and I haven't taken the time to pick it which I will dry and use later. I like it in tea and if you have an upset tummy, mint tea helps immensely. An old idea that really works. Be careful where you plant your mint for if you don't watch out you will have a whole flower bed full and it will be marching across your yard. It spreads quickly. You might want to put it in a pot or just let 'er rip.

Ya'll won't believe what happened to me on Facebook this week! Lawd have mercy, I was chastised by the "Religious Police." These are the people who just sit around and wait to pounce on those of us who occasionally spread a little humor which they consider not Christian. They are first cousins to the "Moral Police" whose duty is to watch all of us to be sure we operate under their moral code. It reminds me of the the Pharisees in the Bible for they also make up lots and lots of little religious and moral rules for the rest of us to follow. I just can't see how they think we can keep all those little 'ole rules, do you?

Now ya'll know I am a good Southern Lady, raised by a good Southern Mama and all the "mama police" in Camden, AL so I can't be too bad. I do have a habit of opening mouth before brain is in gear sometimes and contract hoof and mouth disease but not this time. I'll just have to tell ya'll about it and remember, I AM INNOCENT HERE. I was simply responding to a comment made by a friend and I thought it was kinda funny.

I am changing names and being discrete here to protect the guilty. A friend of ours lives in a town with the same name as a famous or infamous political couple and had been out of town for a few days. On arriving home he made a comment on Facebook about something must have happened while he was gone for _______ was covered in green stuff (pollen.) Now another friend of his made a reply about the couple whose name is the same which was really funny and I just couldn't help myself but I carried it one step further. How can anyone with any sense of humor not contribute to the humor of others?

Now my friend thought it was right funny but bless her heart, another friend of his, whom I do not know, chastised us for making fun of this fine couple who was doing so much for our country and world and that we were unchristian, and the Lord would not be happy with us. She went on for a few more sentences in this vein and I began to giggle and say "Bless her heart." She informed us that Jesus would not say those things.

Well you know me, the devil got behind me, whispered in my ear to sic 'em girl and I just couldn't or wouldn't resist and I had to respond to this dear lady. My answer to her was to lighten up and laugh a little for our mutual friend had taught me to laugh. I think I got her panties all in a wad and she threw a hissy fit.

Now if you have ever seen a Southern woman throw a hissy fit it is something to behold for we get red in the face, our indignation rises to a boiling point and our tongue begins to wag at both ends. If we are a true Southern woman, we might even take off our gloves and put down our glass of tea.

She wrote a sermon to me informing me she laughed a lot and no one had to teach her how. She progressed with another sermon about this wonderful couple and informed me and all who read my Facebook that what we had said was wrong as in sinful. Well bless her heart, I almost called my friend to see if she had a stroke for her feathers were all riled up. I could just see her calling our friend and wanting to know what kind of company he had been keeping. Her indignation temperature went right out the top of the tube and she is really disapointed in me for making fun of such a fine couple.

By this time I was almost splitting my sides laughing for when I looked at her profile picture I realized that she was about my age - older- and didn't look as though she found life to be all that great even if she had assured me she laughed a lot and was quite joyful. You could have fooled me. Not being able to not have the last word I told her I was just joking but no response to that. Bless her heart, I'm not sure she can take a joke too well. I think she may be a member of the "Dill Pickle Christian Society" and they stay puckered up most of the time.

Now if all this is confusing I'm sorry but I really am trying to protect the guilty for Jesus did teach me to not be unkind but He did give me this strange sense of humor. If this is His gift to me I feel obligated to use it and I really hope this poor lady learns to not take everything I say as the literal truth. After all, being the "Religious Police" is a difficult job for like the Pharisees, there are lots of rules they think we have to follow and keeping up with all of them and us is a big job, bless their hearts. I probably will never meet her this side of Glory but I bet if she gets there first she is waiting to tell the Lord about me.

You noticed I used the phrase "Bless her heart" a lot and I think it was needed for that is about all you can say about some people and be nice. Although if you are from the South you know this can be a pretty big way of saying that looks can be improved but stupidity is incurable. I sure hope she doesn't read this for she really would be all puffed up with indignation - bout to the busting point. :)

Have to share an ad from our local want ads paper. I just love honesty and this is about as honest as you can get.

"FOR SALE: Brand new wedding dress, never worn -decided to elope instead. Size 6, with lace overlay, empire waist, train, and jeweled straps. Was fitted to be able wear barefoot by a 5'3" woman. " The phone number was given with a price of $250.00.

Now this sounds like a good deal to me but I have several questions to ask this young woman. First, did she elope with the man she was going to marry in the wedding? I knew someone who eloped with the best man after the rehearsal dinner. Second, why in the world was she going barefooted to her wedding? Seems to me a brand new wedding dress with lace overlay, empire waist and train with jeweled straps at least is worth a pair of shoes. I have a pair of white flip flops she could have borrowed. I also would like to know if she is "empire waisted" or is it the dress. If it is her waist she look a little strange for that would put her waist up under her boobs. She is a little thing I noticed - like my daddy would say, "Not as big as a washing of soap" whatever that means. I sure hope she married the intended groom but I applaud her being so frugal as to elope. Think of the money she saved!

Well, my goodness, just look at the time. The sun is almost gone and so is my tea so I guess I will just bid you all good night and go get some more.

Ya'll take care and come back to see me.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Theater In The Round

Good evening, ya'll. Come on in for a cup of coffee and a little conversation. I am a little tired for we went to Valdosta this morning for me to get a haircut and of course we had to go to Sams and stock up for the next few weeks. This is also my theater in the round and is most entertaining.

We always get a hot pretzel and soft drink and sit, eat, and watch the show (doesn't take much to entertain us). It amazes me how some people behave in public and how some women dress or undress to impress others. You know men dress to just have something to cover their naked bodies and women dress to impress other women.

Some of them have the mistaken idea that they are dressing to impress the men but women let me clue you in. Men could care less what you have on and probably won't even notice unless you are naked or have more than is decent hanging out or under. You can wear the the most beautiful, designer outfit or the one most in fashion, hang all your jewelry on yourself, tastefully apply your makeup, and style your hair in the latest fashion and the majority of the men will not notice what you have on. If they do, watch out for they looking to copy your look!!!

You see men notice only 3 things - legs, boobs and behinds. They look to see how slim, how big and how bouncy or tight each part is on you. Other than that is just icing on the cake that women will notice but most men will not even see. They are a strange species and how a women looks is much less important than what she has. If I want Roy to notice me,even at this advanced age, the only way is to walk out "nekkid." That will get his attention every time where the new outfit doesn't even get a glance.

Now you may ask how do I know this? I have been married to the same, handsome, hunk for 47 years tomorrow! By now I pretty well know what he thinks about most things in life. For instance I know he likes boobs not legs, funny not necessarily pretty, friendly but not gushing, and a women who will take care of him. He is like most other men I know so I consider him a good example of the male species and I know from experience he doesn't notice what I wear or what any other women wears unless it is neon and lit up.

For example, I saw a lady (?) in Sams today who had on a really pretty black outfit with a bright pink top under the jacket. I was admiring her slim figure and the outfit until she turned around and whoa Nelly. The front view was a little different! From the length of the hair and the color I thought early to middle 3o's but no way. Maybe late 40's or either she had been rode hard and put away wet too many times. The face was a little lined and on closer inspection the blond hair had been bleached several times too many and it looked a little like straw.

The most glaring problem was the neckline of the pretty, pink, top. It was loooow and showed way too much bosom and the bosom was slightly wrinkled and sagging south. In other words gravity had set in and wrinkles had attacked and I was getting way too much of a view along with a store full of people. Now I mentioned to Roy that a lady had way too much bosom showing and his first questions were, "Where is she" and "What color is the outfit?" Even when I explained the problems with the view he kept a close watch until she strolled by. Now by this time I had spent about 15 minutes trying not to see because she sat at the table directly in front of me and was facing me. Shall I say I almost saw her belly button and the sad sights being exposed for all to see. Poor baby, she must be almost blind and couldn't see what she really looks like or maybe all the mirrors in her house are broken.

The only men I saw taking a second look were those in the motorized shopping carts or on walkers. I told Roy the other day that I missed the admiring glances I used to receive occasionally from other men for now the only time I got these looks are when I visit the nursing home. Bless their hearts, they can't see or hear too well and I look and sound pretty good to them.

I can tell you one thing for certain, this lady was not raised by a good, Southern mama like mine or either she is in total rebellion against what her mama taught her. Mine taught me to cover up the scenery tastefully, slightly sexy, not over the top to lure the male species in. When they take the bait, set the hook and reel them in. Only then do they get to look and touch the merchandise. Those who flaunt it for all to see are not the ones who get invited to meet the Southern gentleman's mama for mama would kindly suggest she put some clothes on if she was interested in her little boy.

Now don't think for a minute these boy-men don't appreciate the wares being displayed and they would date these young ladies, but you didn't take them home to mama. They might take them to meet their daddy but they would have to be careful that daddy didn't admire too much. A man is a man until they draw that last breath and if you don't believe it just visit your local nursing home and watch out or you will get propositioned.

That rabbit got chased big time didn't it? After all it is Friday, rainy and I'm bored so I felt like chasing rabbits. Hope you had a good time and come back to see me and have another cup of coffee. Meanwhile we are going to the Catfish House for some good, fried catfish, hushpuppies and slaw. Maybe I'll get some cheese grits too.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

Intimate Garments

Hi, ya'll. Come on in and have some coffee with us. We are having a lazy night for I am TIRED. I began my spring housecleaning today with sweeping down the shutters, the windows and the window screens on the porch windows. They are now ready to be washed and polished and made to shine. When I got through, Roy had to help me to the bed, bring me 3 ibuprofen, for I couldn't straighten my back. This proves the point that I will have to do a little bit at the time or go hire a window washer and I have a good idea I will doing a bit at the time.

You know I have decided to lose some of this excess poundage I am hauling around on my body. It seems to have settled mostly in the stomach and hips and I am blaming my genetics from my mama's side of the family for this problem. You see, most of the females, women, ladies and girls (I think that gets all of them) are a tad on the fluffy side with big stomachs and hips. We are categorized as "pear shaped" versus the apple shapes and the stick shapes. It must be that good Scottish and Irish heritage of eating too many potatoes and good Irish bread.

Whatever, it is a struggle and after a week of starving to death, writing down everything I ate and counting my WW points, I lost 2 whole pounds. It was enough to make me get the frozen brownies out of the freezer and eat one while it was still frozen. Now don't get your panties in a wad, for I know 2 pounds are what you should lose per week but I am ADD, ADHD, and BADD which means I want it now, yesterday and instantly. Patience is not my middle name or one of my virtues.

Now to get to the point of all this rhetoric - I went and bought me some body shapers, control top panty hose and tummy control panties. Weeel, when I put on the body shaper and the control top panty hose I felt like all the air in my lungs had been pushed right out of my body and I could not inhale any. It felt like I had been stuffed in sausage casings and when I looked down, that's what it looked like.

I think it may be one of the laws of physics or some other kind of weird science, that when you squeeze one area it moves it down and up. To put it bluntly, I had a new and larger roll above the waist, and rolls below just above the knees and I could not breath so had a blue face. On the positive side, I was able to put on my skirt and not pop the elastic. On the negative side, any exertion brought on hyper-ventilation for I couldn't take a deep breath. By the time I had climbed the steps to the choir room, I couldn't sing for I had no breath. I thought I was about to embarrass myself big time by having the vapours and I didn't have my smelling salts. For all you younger people or those from the Nawth, I felt like I was about to faint and didn't have any ammonia to make me gasp for breath.

The next problem was I had to go down the steps and up to the choir loft but it didn't seem to cause as big a problem as climbing up the steps. It took only about 5 minutes for my face to return to pink and I could at least sing by the second song. What an embarrassment to pass out in the choir, at church worship, in front of everybody for wearing a body shaper and control top panty hose.

Now, I have come to a conclusion. These instruments of torture are the present day chastity belts and birth control. By the time you have peeled these garments off, caught your breath, and your face return to pink, the moment of romance is gone bye bye. Also the picture of you trying to get this sausage casing off your body is a maneuver which would erase all romantic thoughts your man ever had. When all that came off and you ballooned back to your original, fluffy self, I think he will have forgotten what he wanted to begin with.

If you are not familiar with the undergarments I am referring to, I have a few pictures to prove my point. You can go from the minimal to the maximum covering so here are a few.

This is one of the least but still rather constricting and will give you additional rolls around the knees.

Now this one is the maxi-mode and it will help you avoid the rolls around the knees but may cause rolls around the ankles. You just have to inhale, pull, tug and struggle to get it on and see.



This a newer model and may be a little easier to tug on but I think this one may ease on up your body and may be pushing your bust line higher if you don't catch it first.



Now men, we don't want to leave you out for many of you have the same problems we women have and let me give you a hint, we don't like the rolls hanging over the belt anymore than you like to see our thunder thighs so here is your "torture garment." We don't want ya'll to feel unloved and unwanted.

Wow, I bet you didn't plan on having a lecture about undergarments tonight, did you? By now you should know when you stop by my Net Porch you never know what I am going to talk about. Now my grandmother is having a hissy fit up in heaven for I have talked about underwear, birth control and bust lines but maybe she won't convince the Powers that Be to send a bolt of lightning and strike me speechless. Love you grandmother. That used to work so lets see. Of course, granddaddy is over there laughing at her but she'll shush him soon enough.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach
***********************************************************************************

Another Good Monday

Good afternoon to ya'll. I am a tad tired today for we made a quick trip to Mobile last Thursday through Saturday to tend to some stuff. We stayed in the little town of Daphne at a Microtel we had used before. Roy's parents lived close to there for about 5 years in the retirement village of Westminister and we like the area. It is amazing how it grew in those few years. Evidently it is has become an escape from living in Mobile for it has mushroomed but still a small town atmosphere.

Eating breakfast in a motel is quite interesting sometimes or rather most times. Friday morning it was rather quiet and uncrowded but a few characters in the bunch. They have instant grits, which is for people who don't know what good grits are, and a hot water tap above the coffee urn to mix with them. On the microwave door written in large, block print are these words, "Do not put the cereal bowls in the microwave." Plain, simple and few words that anyone with half an eye and good sense could understand.

A lady who was sitting right in front of the microwave proceeded to empty a packet of grits in a Styrofoam bowl, add some water from the sink tap and placed it in the microwave saying, " I'm afraid it is going to explode" but pressed the buttons. It was not done to suit her so she repeated the action saying again she was afraid it was going to explode. Well, the third time was the charm for if exploded and grits coated the inside of the microwave. She looked quite surprised that it actually exploded.

Now what did this brilliant lady do? She said she just knew that was going to happen and began to try to clean up exploded grits in a microwave with paper napkins. Of course it wasn't going to happen and the manager and one of the maids came with cloths, water and cleaner and said they would clean it but his "smart" person just kept trying to clean it while explaining she knew it was going to happen but wanted to try it for she didn't like grits with just the hot water added. The nice manager and the cleaning lady finally persuaded her to get out of the way so they could clean it properly for she was just smearing sticky grits all over the microwave.

By this time I was in stitches and trying not to laugh out loud and say as I fell to the floor, "Lady, you are just plain stupid and stupid can't be fixed." Being the Southern Lady that I am I just turned red in the face while stifling the laughter and watched her become a blabbering idiot. I wanted so badly to tell her, "Sugah, there is a Waffle House next door if you want some cooked grits for it is evident you can't read." Bless her heart, we'll pray for her.

Then there was the maintenance man with his great big set of jangling keys who was eating breakfast with us. He ate 3 packets of grits, 2 toasted bagels, jelly, cream cheese, several cups of coffee and orange juice and left with an apple. Now this took awhile for he would fix and eat one packet of grits at a time, then the bagels and orange juice and then more coffee. He was up and down and all around again and again. What made it so funny was the big ring of keys jingling and jangling and the flip up sun shades attached to his glasses. Made him look like a nerdy, redneck, repairman. There was also the loud comments to the staff when the smart lady blew up the grits. He summoned them with a shout, she blew up the grits needs cleaning up. He sure ate up their profit that morning and I wonder if they take it out of his check for he sure can eat. He also seemed to like coffee all day for when we would walk through the lobby he would sitting at a table drinking more coffee.

Saturday morning was crowded and loud. They were having the Senior Bowl in Mobile and a whole host of Florida Gators were at the motel and I guess they had come to see Tim Tebow play his last game as a college student. I kinda got the impression they were coaches and wives and friends or some other athletic group for they were loud, obnoxious and totally Florida fans. They took up most of the tables and chairs and had to talk at shouting pitch and eat all the food. Every time I got up to get something to eat you had to go around one of these people. I sure am glad they were not on our floor for I think they had been celebrating all night. However, I did have a 300 pound gorilla in the room over us or at least that's what it sounded like.

We ate quickly and got ready to come back to Georgia for it was cold and had rained buckets the night before. I helped load the truck and sat in it while Roy went to pay the bill. Now for those of you who don't know my husband, he is a big, quiet man who doesn't say a lot but sees everything. When he completed paying our bill he told the lady manager he was about to make some people mad and turned slowly to face the crowd of Florida fans and said, "All you Florida fans, listen up. Rooool Tide." He strolled out and left them sitting quietly in shock. I am so glad he did that for I had wanted to shut them up somehow but didn't think about that. After all, they were in "our house", Sweet Home Alabama, acting like a Florida Gator. They needed to be taught some manners.

Now for those of you who don't follow SEC football, let me 'splain to you. Alabama (Roll Tide) beat the Florida Gators this year and kept them from being SEC champions and made Tim Tebow cry. You just help but brag if it is SEC football for all is fair in war and SEC football.

It was an interesting adventure for people are funny if you watch and listen. We had hoped to have some good, fresh seafood at the Original Oyster House but it was raining really hard when we got there, we had to park in the next county and they were having a Mardi Gras party there and it was packed. As an alternative we went to Olive Garden at the shopping center and had a great Italian meal. Missed the seafood but I can get that here but we don't have an Olive Garden.

Well, I have rattled on enough for today and we are about to eat "lupper" (lunch/supper) and we have fresh turnip greens, peas and a hamburger potato casserole which I cooked for the first time. If it is good, I will share the recipe.

Nuff said and ya'll have a good day,

The Georgia Peach

Wrestling With Stuff

Good evening, ya'll. Come on in the house where it is warm for the wind is blowing like March out there and it is a little chilly. I will be glad when it gets warm enough to sit out on the porch, but we'll just have to use the "Net Porch" today. I hope all is well with you and if you want a cup of coffee just wait a minute for it is dripping as we speak.

Thought I would go a little fancy today so we are having hazelnut flavored coffee. Every now and then I pick up those little packages of special coffees and save them for special occasions like I'm celebrating having a cup of coffee. Doesn't take much for me to have a celebration does it? Coffee always makes a joyous time and I found a coffee flavored yogurt several weeks ago to add to my list of "favorite things." Most anything that tastes like coffee is good unless it is instant coffee. That is nasty stuff.

I have a new chicken casserole in the oven which I concocted today with leftover chicken. If it's as good as I think it will be I will share it with you. It is a "what do I have in the house" recipe and before I began baking it the taste I sneaked was good. Let's see what baking does to it. I may have a winner here.

Prayer is needed for me as I tackle a big task, please. No, nothing is wrong I was just convicted as I taught our Sunday School lesson this past Sunday. We have been studying the book of Ecclesiastes and Solomon was a pretty wise man. This past week we studied about how we collect and keep so much stuff, why we do this, and how to get rid of it.

Light bulb went off in my head and as I taught the lesson I began to picture all the "stuff" I have collected through the years and how cluttered a lot of my house is. Please if you ever visit me you have to promise not open a drawer, cabinet or closet door. If a door is closed, don't open and if I die before I complete this task, some of ya'll come over here and throw the junk away or lock the door and visit on the porch.

You see I am a pack rat from a long line of pack rats. Mama and daddy's house in Camden is full of stuff along with the attic, the barn and the shop. What are we going to do with all this stuff? I don't have the faintest idea. A huge yard sale is part of the solution, I guess but I have never had one of those things. The other idea I have is just leave it there and when I die the children will have to deal with all the stuff.

When we were home Christmas, Robby, our son who plans to move back to the house someday, went up in the attic. Now I haven't been up there in years for I am afraid of who or what lives up there. When he came back down the stairs he asked, "How did they get that mattress up there?" Well I don't have the foggiest idea and I also ask how did they get that great big rocking chair, the wicker chair, and all that other stuff up through that little trap door? You see why I don't want to go up there? Then I will have to think about what do do with all of it. You see, if anything ever came on the place, it never left and it resides somewhere on that 40 acres. I think it even procreated and had little stuff which grew into big stuff. Now what do you do with it? I don't know.

Well, when teaching this lesson Sunday I began to think about this challenge and realized that I have also collected a lot of stuff. When we were moving on a right regular basis, you had to clean out and throw away what you didn't need or almost all of it anyway. However, we haven't moved in 16 years now, the longest we have lived in one place and guess what? There is a lot of stuff around here and I have been convicted to get rid of some of it.

I told my class of sweet ladies how the Lord had spoken to me and convicted me of having too much stuff and that I was going to begin with my craft stuff. Ya'll know I am ADD so I have jumped from sewing to crochet to knitting to jewelry making to decoupage to embroidery and a few others I can't remember. I have bought supplies for these projects, play with it a couple of months and then stow the stuff in a box in a closet somewhere. I kept telling myself I would do it again but "again" never came. It just continued to pile up.

This is my beginning point in cleaning out and when I shared this with my ladies one of them threw up her hand and said, "I want your junk." Well we about fell out laughing for she had just agreed she needs to do the same thing. We laughed so hard the men's class next door beat on the wall to get us to quieten down. Didn't work but we tried. Guess what I am going to do? Right, I am going to take her a sack full of stuff to add to her stuff.

Come Monday morning I began the task. I decided my favorite crafts are knitting, crocheting, sewing and jewelry design and that is all I am going to do and these supplies are all I will keep. Now I have a 4 drawer chest of drawers packed with yarns and several other hiding places but I plan not to buy anymore until I knit this up and give it away. The sewing material is too plentiful so I am going to be brutally honest and give away what I know deep down in my heart I will never use. The lime green and the glowing fuchsia I think is a tosser, don't you? Also the double knits with the great big flowers needs to go. Also, the patterns for the 70's would more than likely be a good choice, don't you think?

Yesterday I bit the bullet and cleaned out all of my stamps and ink pads, most I've never used and gave them to a friend who scrapbooks. It was like tearing off a limb or at least a finger but I hung in there and carried it away. Thoughts were running through my head of how I may use this sometimes in the future but I resisted temptation and got them out of the house.

My next project is to clean out greeting cards for I have kept most of any I ever received. The plan was to recycle them or just take them out and look at them every year or so. Nope, going to send them to the St. Jude's ranch for children. They will take the fronts of cards and make new cards to sell and I can cut the fronts off these cards while I watch TV and it will be easier on me than tossing them in the trash. I just hate to throw pretty things away and that's where it all began.

There is already 2 boxes of stuff ready to go to Goodwill and I have promised myself not to drop stuff off at the back of the store and then go around to the front and buy some more stuff. I will probably go into Goodwill withdrawal but if ya'll will hang in there with me I will beat this addiction. I am going to clean out this house!!!!

Now ya'll pray for me as I chug along with this task for the body is willing but the mind is weak. Now I can just hear Roy saying my mind has always been weak but after all he did marry me, weak mind and all so what does that say about him? Now it is time to clean out another box and see who gets it. If you want any of this stuff you better let me know and come on by the house and get it. Roy is not up for grabs though for he is a "keeper."

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

Boys (Men) and Their Toys

Good evening. How are ya'll doing? It's been awhile since I talked to you but been a little busy. So ya'll come on in for a glass of tea and some conversation or as Becky used to say "comersation."

It has been another beautiful, fall day in South Georgia - cool morning, warm day and beginning to cool off tonight. We are supposed to get some rain tomorrow, maybe, but I hope not for the farmer next to us has his peanuts turned up and they need hot and dry weather for them to dry. You can't harvest them until they have dried out or they will rot. He gave me some of the fresh ones for me to pick off the plants and boil but have not felt like doing it today.

By the way, since mama taught me to share everything, I have a cold to give you. It's either a cold or allergies or a mixture of both. Whichever it is, I feel lousy, no good and ready to get out the "sally rag." Now for those of you who don't know what a "sally rag" or poultice is, I will 'splain it to you.

You use these poultices or "sally rags" when you have chest congestion to get the stuff up and out of your lungs. The one I have is the one mama made when I was a little girl and we won't go into how long ago that was. She took a wool flannel slip of mine, cut off the top, added several layers of flannel to it, attached a big safety pin to each shoulder and soaked it good with who knows what. I know it has a lot of Vick's salve and an ointment that Dr. Moseley gave her, Mentholatum and other stuff. Whatever is in it, when you heat it up, place it on your chest, pin it to your pajama top and go to sleep you wake up the next morning with a clear head and coughing that stuff up and out. Your nose stays clear all night too.

I found this website with instructions how to make various poultices so if you have chest congestion you might want to try some of them. For coughs, my grandmother used peppermint candy covered with whiskey. You just sip a little when you cough and it's OK to imbibe if it is for medicinal purposes.

Now we didn't like to wear this thing but mama would insist and we would be glad the next day when we felt better. My kids hated it and would try to refuse to wear it but I was bigger than they were for a little while and could enforce my wishes and then their daddy took over. Seriously, they didn't like it but appreciated the results. So tonight I am getting the "sally rag" out of the pint jar mama kept it in, which I inherited, and wear it and try to get better.

The picture at the top is our new pond we had dug recently. If you can imagine rows of pine trees where this used to be, that would have been about a year ago but we sold them. That left a big, low, wet area in our front yard so we decided just to build a pond and take advantage of that wet spot. We are planning to add fish when it gets enough water in it and then I can go fishing every day and never leave home. That's almost heaven isn't it?

Below is a picture of the house with pond in front. Before we cut the trees you couldn't see the house but now I guess I will have to wash the windows.

We also cut most of the trees on our place which left several acres to mow as the grass comes back. We have a riding lawn mower but figured it would take about a week to mow the grass and then it would be ready to cut again. Because we didn't want to spend all our days cutting grass and not fishing, Roy bought a new toy as you can see below.

As you can see it is a pretty, big, toy and he likes to play with it. Here he is filling up some holes in the driveway or playing in the dirt, whichever you want to call it. He went forward and backward and so forth for a good while, playing with the dirt and had a great time.

As you can see it even has a blade that goes up and down and you can tote dirt in that thing up in the air. It looked like so much fun he has promised to show me how to drive this new toy. After all, I may have to mow the grass sometimes or play in the dirt. I think that would be fun don't you? If you come by to see us sometimes maybe I will give you a ride on our new toy.

I always wanted to learn how to drive a tractor and ride in a semi truck. It looks like so much fun to be up high in that great big cab and have all that power at your fingertips. A friend told me when he could he would come and get me and take me riding in his big truck and I am waiting with anticipation. Reckon he would let me drive it just a little? Probably not and I'm not sure I really want to but I sure want to ride in one.

By the way, if anyone has a motorcycle you want to get rid of, I want that toy next. I used to ride on one when I was a lot younger that belonged to my brothers but I think this white hair, a red motorcycle with black seats would look great together, don't you? So if you see me riding through town on a motorcycle, don't be surprised for I don't have too many more years to fulfill these dreams so I best get on with it.

Ya'll come back to see me and next time maybe I won't be high on benedryl.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach
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Monday's Sillies

It has been a Monday, all day. I had a challenging and busy weekend, which made me tired and a little silly today so have not been able to sit and write anything sensible. Being too tired to do anything else, I read the tool ads which came in the mail today. So, if you know me, I am about to let you see the weird side of me. Remember, as the great philosopher Kermit the Frog says, "It's not easy being green" and that's my color I always make when I take the stupid "What Color Are You" test. So come on in, have a seat, grab a coke and see what happens.

Now, you have to use your imagination and if you know a lot about tools and such, just forget it and go with me, OK? These are the items that caused me to scratch my head and wonder, what in the world?

Heavy Duty Hand Truck - what do you do with a "hand" truck? Why would anyone need a truck to haul hands? Do they come unattached to the arms and the bodies? I guess they only haul BIG hands, for it said it is heavy duty. So, all you people who haul hands, hurry and get this heavy duty hand truck.

Reversible Air Screwdriver - I have a few questions about this. I thought you used a screwdriver to put screws in, not reverse them and why would you want to screw something in "air?" Wouldn't seem to hold many screws if it's just air.

Super Duty Air Hammer - Another "air" tool. I find it highly amusing that you also want to hammer air as well as put screws into it. With air being so light and all, why would you need to buy a "Super Duty" air hammer? I guess it would be for "heavy" air.

Long Reach Air Scraper - It is simply amazing what you can do with air. You can scrape it also. You can put in screws, hammer it and scrape it. Now I don't know where this air is, but I do believe it would be a tad hard to breathe or evidently reach, since you need a "long" reacher.

Air Hose Reel - I assume this goes with the long reach air scraper so you can reel it in if you reach too far in the air. I gotta see this air, anyone know where I can find some?

8" Four-Way Crimping tool - I have heard of six-ways for Sunday and half-a-dozen, but if you need to crimp or crump something four ways, this is your tool. It's also 8 inches long, so you won't have to get too close to crimp it. This would be some heavy duty crimping if you do it all four ways.

Powder Coating System - Now how in the world you gonna coat something with powder? That stuff flies all over everywhere when you try to coat something with it. I guess you will have to give whatever you are trying to coat a good spray with a grease gun to get it to stick.

7 Piece Nut Driver Set - Actually you only need one driver to drive you nuts if they are trying to put on makeup, drink coffee, and talk on the cell phone while driving. Then there are the male nuts who talk on the cell phone, read the newspaper and check out the women in the car next to them. The ones who drive me crazy are the ones who text on their cell phones and drive. 7 of them would cause big time chaos on the interstate!

Pancake Compressor - This one just blows my mind. I try all my cooking tricks to make light, fluffy pancakes, so why in the world would you spend $99.99 to compress them? Can you imagine what they would taste like all mashed flat? Why IHOP would go out of business if you brought in one of these things.

Plumber's Brush - I assume this is a brush for plumbers, so all you electricians and carpenters leave these alone unless you are bi-skilled and can plumber also. The Brush police might be watching, so be careful.

4- 50 pound Monkey Hooks - Be careful if your monkey weighs over 50 lbs. for you may need to get a heavier hook and be sure to get more than 1 pack if you have more than 4 monkeys, for I doubt they will hold 2 monkeys.

Rollaway Tool Bag - If you buy one of these, be sure and get a leash to keep it close by since it might roll away. Wouldn't it be easier just to get one that won't roll away from you?

Palm Sander - This is for all you hard working men who have callused palms. Be sure and get one of these to keep those palms all soft and nice to hold. You might want to use that grease gun along with the sander to be sure and moisturize after sanding.

Variable Speed Hammer Drill - This one confuses me, easy to do, for how can you hammer and drill? I think I'm correct in that a drill makes a hole, so what would you hammer in it? I guess you could hammer in a round peg and be sure that you vary the speed.

Windmill Mole Chaser - This must be quite a sight to see - a windmill chasing a mole. I kinda thought windmills stood still in one spot and above ground, so I sure would like to see one that can chase those little moles, for they mostly stay underground. Can't you just see what a mess that windmill would make chasing those little moles under your yard? By the way, is their wind underground to power one of these windmills?

Trunk Organizer - This is for all you elephants to keep your trunks nice and tidy.

Dead Blow Hammer - This is the tool you need when you feel like murdering someone - it's guaranteed to kill them dead with one blow.

Greenhouse - This ad is false advertising, for it is clear glass and not green glass, so how can it be a "green"house? Can I sue, everybody else does?

All-Terrain Tricycle - This is a "must" for future "boggers" and hunters. It will start your little one training for their future on a safe tricycle before they use the big four-wheelers and the trucks with the great big wheels. Can't be too safe when training to "bog". This will also be wonderful for the little darlings who insist on riding their trikes through the pasture, chasing the cows.

Cycle Tree - If you want an unusual Christmas tree, you might want to get one of these and begin collecting all kind of cycles to decorate it with - tricycles, bicycles, unicycles, motor cycles - you get the picture. Need to start now, for Christmas will be here before you know it.

Pocket Blow Guns - Use this to keep you pockets blown out. You don't want a pocket full of little lint bunnies.

Three Head Rechargeable Shaver - now you've heard of the Big Head, well this is for the Three Headed Men - one shaver with 3 heads.

Rolling Knee Pads - this is for crawling babies so they don't have to scrape their knees. Just attach these nice rolling knee pads and watch that little rascal scoot all over the house.

Mover's Dollies - Get them while they are available - all you movers now have your own dollies - you can leave your daughter's alone, for now you have one.

Stubby Hammers - Hammer for stubby people with stubby hands. Now a hammer to fit your hands.

Now I have saved the best for last. I will only list this one and let your imagination do the rest. This is for all you strong and might men out there -

70 Piece Stainless Steel Nuts

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach