Sunday, September 27, 2009

Old People

Good evening. How ya'll doing today? Another day I had to miss church due to my foot surgery but I hope this will be over soon. Tonight I plan to go to worship for 2 of my "boys" are being ordained as deacons. You know you are getting older when men of 30 plus years are your "boys." I am so proud of them and know our church will be blessed by their ministry.

Getting older has some real advantages. I don't have to ask for my senior citizen's discount any more for when you have white hair and wrinkles you automatically get them. Now I don't try to fight this aging process but I do believe in doing all you can to make the process as attractive as possible. I refuse to look or act "old." I also have doors opened for me, even though I am perfectly capable of opening my own doors and some people think you are wise due to your age.

Now as you well know, wisdom doesn't automatically come with age for some of the most stupid people I know are old. It should come to us with experience and years but somehow some people just missed out. Listen to some of their conversations and they talk like they know everything and why and the wherefores but some of it is just spitting in the wind and they need to learn to wise up or shut up. These are the old folks I run from or just nod politely and say nothing.

How do you do you fight this aging process, you may ask? For one thing I will not have hair, even though it is white and beautiful, curled into a tight football helmet, teased, sprayed and lacquered until a hurricane wouldn't disturb a hair. I wear it short, sexily tousled and youthful. In fact I have an agreement with my hair dresser that if he makes me look old, I don't have to pay and so far I've had to shell out some money every time he cuts it. I think that the tousled, casual look is much better than the hurricane-proof helmet to trick folks into thinking you are younger than you are.

Another trick I use is hanging around young people. Old folks bore me. I need youthful ideas and opinions for they challenge me to use my mind and keep it active. Trying to keep up with a bunch of youngsters will keep your joints moving and your mind racing. Now some of them call me "granny" and some "Miss Cupcake- white hair that looks like frosting" but they treat me like I am not old and that makes me feel young. When a young person comes up to you and gives you a great big hug and tells me what's going on in their life, it just makes my day. It also makes me aware of what our future generation will be like and I think it will be good. The secret is to be truly interested in their daily lives, encourage them and don't "preach." A suggestion is far better than and ultimatum when you see them straying onto the wrong path. I just love being around all their energy and excitement. Very few old people I know have either.

Dressing old is also a dead giveaway. Now I don't mean you have to let your boobs and butt show but you don't have to wear granny clothes. I like to wear bright colors and I don't shop in the "mature" section of a department store. Jeans, t-shirts, and sketchers are my style. It's getting harder to find jeans which fit, but thank goodness for stretch denim. The Capri pants are great to cover up the fat knees and show off the trim calves and ankles. Now I don't wear shorts - due to the fat knees, or sleeveless- due to the batwings under the upper arms, but I do like the short sleeve shirts and bright colors. I have to wear the bright colors for with my white hair anything else makes me look dead and ready to be laid out. So ladies and gents, don't dress like you granddaddy and grandmother but liven up, look your best and strut your stuff.

Now our stuff my be drooping a little but thank goodness for spanx and other good support garments. I realize that as we get older and gravity pulls a little harder, most of what we have begins to head south but a good support garment can lift it up and hold it in at least while we have them on. I see no reason not to support our assets as long as we can.

Now I do realize that at this stage I will not be picked up by the camera men at a college football game for they only show the young, full-boobed with low cut or strapless dresses. You know they have camera persons whose only job is to scan the crowd for the young, pretty, bought-boobs, girls so we can all see and want some too or the boys with no shirts on and painted to look like idiots. The "normal" people just won't be on national TV so we have to just get over it. After all who would watch if they only showed the average Joes and Janes or "old" people? This makes up the majority of the crowd so that is why they have the one camera seeking and searching for the pretty and well endowed and the half- naked fans. Now I don't want to be that age again but wouldn't mind having some of the "assets."

So my advice to all you "older folks" is to hang around with young people, don't dress like your grandparents and enjoy what time we have left. I don't intend to get "old" and become boring and have a constant "organ recital" for all to hear. As a radio personality says, Wake up America, and live life to the fullest and look like your enjoying it. Better yet, enjoy it.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach
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