Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Deer in Headlights



Good morning, ya'll and come on in the house for a hot cup of coffee and sit a spell. It is cold outside but above freezing so I can deal with that. As you know I dislike cold weather except for the fact the peach trees need a certain number of cold days to have good peaches. I think they may have reached that number so we can go back to South GA warm weather so I can come out of hibernation.

It has been so cold we had to pick our grapefruit and some of the oranges early but I squeezed some for juice, added splenda and it is really good. We have the red grapefruit and the juice orange and mixed together it is delicious. I enjoy having our own citrus for the first time and we plan to plant some more. Our lemon tree had about a dozen lemons and they were so pretty and full of juice. Living in the south definitely has big perks.

I guess you can tell from the picture I have something to say about deer in headlights so here goes. Christmas shopping was completed on Friday of last week and it was fun to watch the men trying to please wives, girlfriends and other females in their lives. It reminded me of deer caught in headlights and being struck helpless.

Bath and Body was a madhouse as women, men, teens and various and sundry other people searched for just the right scent to buy. I solved my problem by stepping outside the store, calling our daughter and asking. Now she knows what she is getting but it solved the problem of the wrong scent and she won't have to swap it. After all we all have our favorites and nothing else will do.

As I was standing in front of the one I wanted a bewildered and totally clueless young man came to stand by me. He was searching the shelves with his glazed eyes and a nice young lady who works in the store asked him if he needed help. He looked like he had been handed a reprieve from being hit by a semi and said YES. He sounded so relieved I felt plumb sorry for him.

He said he needed midnight something. Of course the clerk knew exactly what he wanted and said shower gel, body lotion or perfume. Whoa Nellie, here came the headlights again for he had no idea what any of that would be and the clerk took pity and suggested the body lotion for every woman needs that. Again came the sigh of relief and the eyes returned to normal as he took the bottle in his sweating hands until he saw the price and then the glaze returned and I thought he was going to faint. I am sure he had no idea what we women pay to be soft and smell good.

Taking the bottle to the cashier and blinking a couple of times, he pulled out his wallet and paid for the bottle and when asked if he wanted to be put on the mailing list looked like he had been hit by the truck and bolted from the store. Bless his heart, he was being a good boy friend but this was beyond his experiences in life.

As I looked around the store, I saw other husbands, boy friends, sons and fathers trying to look comfortable and cool but failing miserably. Their female companions would spray a little of something on their wrist, shove it under their nose and say what about this? You could see that glazed look of the deer come into their eyes and hear them want to say, "Who cares? Can I escape now?" They would patiently zone out into their masculine world and try to look interested but looking like the deer about to be run over by the truck. Bless their hearts.

The Hallmark store was not much better but men seemed a little more comfortable picking out a card for their lovely damsel. The territory was a little more familiar to them but still a little daunting and when men are "daunted", they tend to become all hands and feet and clumsy so you have to watch out for them. One man stood there for about 20 minutes trying to find a card for some woman in his life and I selected 5 cards while he was still reading every card in that section and I left him standing there as I left.

You could almost hear his thoughts: "Should I go mushy and sound like an idiot or should I go funny and be put out of the house or maybe go big and have music when she opens it and score some extra points?" I am pretty sure he read every card in the wife section before he chose one and I sure hope he got a good one or the truck with lights is going to get him.

I don't have to worry for my sweet husband always selects wonderful cards which say exactly what his heart feels and what I want to hear. This is talent beyond price for any man for a card can either break or make a relationship so you men get some help if you need it or cultivate the talent of card selection.

Victoria's Secret is always a hoot for most of the men just stand outside the door and admire the display while their wives are shopping for just the right underthings. Can't you just read their minds as they look at the display: "I hope she gets that red one with just a little wisp of nothing" or "Boy the black one is cool" or maybe he is thinking "Why can't she look like that in that little bitty string of lace?" Man you better keep these thoughts to yourself and play like she looks just like that winged, fake lady in the window or you will not only look like a deer caught in headlights but be one.

Shopping for most men is a bewildering experience and I feel sorry for them and always try to help if I can. Ladies just tell you husbands what you want - color and size, buy it yourself and wrap it and put it under the tree, leave enough hints they can't get it wrong or be joyful with whatever they choose. Leaving broad hints is the method I use or when he asks what I want I tell him.

Now ya'll have a Merry Christmas, and yes I said CHRISTmas, please help out your man before the truck lights become the truck and runs right on over him.

Thought you might like my favorite barbecue sauce for meatballs and cocktail sausage or eat like soup :)


Cranberry-barbeque Sauce for Meatballs or Cocktail Sausage
Ingredients
1 16-ounce can whole cranberries, cranberry sauce
1 cup  barbecue sauce
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
½ cup dried cranberries

Directions
1. In a blender combine cranberry sauce and barbecue sauce.
2. Pulse until blended but cranberries are still slightly chunky
3. Cover and cook in crock post on low-heat setting for 4 to 5 hours or on high-heat setting for 2 to 2-1/2 hours.
4. Serve with your favorite meatballs or cocktail sausage
5. Options: Add red pepper flakes to taste

Be careful going home and stay warm.

Nuff said,

The Georgia Peach

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